Perspective

My little girls are getting big.

Maybe it’s because I have Everett, who is so smart and obedient and two years ahead of them, but I still think of them as little girls.

Spending some time with a newborn in the hospital definitely made them (especially Lana) seem bigger when I came home.  One night last month I heard Maddie crying.  I went in to comfort her and was rather surprised when I picked her up.  Kids always feel different when they’re really relaxed, and she just felt huge.  But what really got me was when I watched an extra kiddo one day.  He is two years old and suddenly my girls looked like big kids.  I’m not just talking about size.  There is quite a difference between seeing an infant next to your other kids and a more independent little two-year-old.  I expected them all to just play and have fun together, but the girls were probably more like little mothers than peers that day.

On March 1^st, my “little” girls turned 5.

In August they will all go to kindergarten.  All day.

On Sundays we always invite my parents over for dinner.  We really enjoy this time with them.  Currently we are using some time after dinner to record my dad’s personal history.  I mentioned that he hadn’t talked about getting married or having kids yet, and he said that raising children had been a wonderful stage of his life.  That hit me pretty hard.  Right now it is easy to feel like raising children is my life.  But it is only a part, and it passes so quickly.  I find great joy in being a mother.

We went for a family walk yesterday, and the girls said that Grandma has no kids.  I said, “Sure she does!  I’m her kid.”  They said they meant little kids.  I told them that someday they would be all grown up and I wouldn’t have any little kids any more.  Their response: “But then you’ll be a grandma.”

I hope so.