Friday, January 23, 2009

Love - written Wednesday January 21st

It is amazing how much you can love a baby before it is even conceived.

baby 5

Yesterday I saw baby #5, a tiny embryo, by ultrasound.  I saw the little heartbeat.  I was relieved to learn that baby #5 was indeed just one baby, though I would have been happy with whatever number Heavenly Father blessed us with.

What I didn't know then was that baby #5 was smaller than he/she should have been.  I don't know exactly what was wrong, but today we lost our tiny little one.  I was 7 weeks pregnant.

It was a hard day.  It was very scary at first.  I was blessed to have my husband and little ones comforting me.  I got lots of extra hugs and snuggles today, and was surrounded by sweetness and unconditional love.

I don't understand everything, but I know that what happened was the will of our Father in Heaven.  I also have faith that we will be blessed with another healthy child at some point.  For now, I will blanket the ones I do have with my love, and help them to feel the love of their Heavenly Father, who sent them to us.

9 comments:

chelsea said...

Oh Mandy and Cary, I am so sorry. Mandy how are you feeling physically? I hope you are good. Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you, I would love to have the Campbell kids over sometime. I hardly know what to say, you will be in my prayers.

Lara said...

I am so sorry to hear this, Mandy. It is such a tough thing to go through. I know just how it feels as I have been through it before. I am glad that your family is snuggling you and helping you through.

Six-Pack Momma said...

I am so sorry. I can empathize. Before my own misacarriage, I had no idea how hard it could be. I never rea;ized how attached you could be to such a tiny part of you. I'll keep you in my prayers.

~HUGS~

Linda said...

Dear Mandy,
I love you more and more everything we connect. I can't image the loss, but I stand in awe of your faith and strength. I know you feel like it comes from those around you, but I have seen it in you from the moment we met and to this day it amazes me. If I could be half the wonderful person and mother you are, I will consider it the greatest accomplishment of my life.
I love you dearly,
Linda

3 Peas N A Pod said...

I am so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care!

Amy K said...

Mandy,
I'm so sorry. I know nothing I can say will take the pain away but, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine the pain your going through. Again, I'm so sorry.
Amy K

Me The Domestic Goddess said...

I'm sorry Mandy and Cary! I wish that I was there to give you hugs and kisses. Just know that we are thinking of you and praying for you during this hard time. WE LOVE YOU!!

Anonymous said...

Mandy, I'm so sorry. I know from experience how hard it can be. The thing that helped me was knowing that it's all in Heavenly Father's hands and according to His timing. Thank you for sharing this with us and for sharing your faith. Love you!
Erin

Mandy said...

Thank you all for your thoughtful, heartfelt comments. I really appreciate it.